i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize