I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No subtext here. People are naked.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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