Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
