Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize