She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
