hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
