Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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