Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The power of my boobs compel you
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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