Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
