are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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