Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The uberlube is also flammable
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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