whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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