I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
