Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
