a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize