Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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