Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You dont lie about slip and slides
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
