it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
