Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
