I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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