barbara walters just said penis...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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