so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
