that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
