arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
