is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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