I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize