Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
