I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I currently don't understand fingers.
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