do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
