Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize