I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
