I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
