Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize