i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize