it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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