and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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