I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
