I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
