More tranny stories later!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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