Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
