he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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