Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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