is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Operation Purity has been aborted
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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