Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
