there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
