It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
