He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
