Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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