you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I love you. Go after that dick
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
