Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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