I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
it hurts more in the daytime
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
