Will you blow on my dice?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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