best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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