I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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