Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize