Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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