i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
