I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
