In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
