I feel like I'm in dance class right now
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
