my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
