chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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