soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
try to milk me bitch
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