Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
not ubering you a puppy
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