Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
