Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
